I will not let You go unless You bless me

The days we’re living in now feel more like a movie than real life. Whoever would have believed just a few weeks ago that the whole world would have been brought to its knees as we’re experiencing now?

Key questions for believers at this time are how can we pray into this crisis and what might the Lord be saying through it?

When I close the bedroom door, turn off my phone, seek to quieten my restless mind and listen to the Lord, the first sense I have is of the Father’s love, compassion and profound grief at the pain and anguish around the world.

Some see this plague as an act of judgment or a divine call to repentance. And this may in part be so. Today’s world has fallen far from its loving Creator and many are hopelessly lost in self-destructive ways.

But even if God is sounding the shofar and beseeching His people to wake up and repent, His heart is breaking as He does so.

None of us can yet comprehend the magnitude of suffering happening around us.

Those who are sick and fighting for the next breath.

Those who have lost love ones but still have to endure the agony of isolation.

Those who are overcome with fear and anxiety for themselves or others.

Those working on the front line in the hospitals, fighting sickness and death around them every day.

Those facing lockdown with abusive families.

Those in financial crisis.

The list goes on. But our Father sees every detail and weeps for His children.

Yet as dark as these days are, there is more to this terrible plague than that.

As I sought the Lord’s face this morning, I found myself returning to one plea: “Lord, don’t let all this suffering be for nothing. Don’t let this horror pass without bringing forth redemption. Don’t let the ashes settle until we have found the beauty beneath. Lord, I will not let You go until You bless me.”

For some of us, the pain of today or the battles we are facing are too intense to allow for quiet reflection. Right now, it’s just a matter of survival. The time for thinking and processing will come later.

Others are spending more time alone with their own thoughts than ever before.

But whether or not we can perceive it now, I believe there is a blessing to be found in the midst of this global pandemic. I believe there is a Father crying to us through the storm to come into His embrace.

I believe there is a call to reach beyond ourselves and the ordinary busyness of our lives. To see life for what it really is. To realize how flimsy all our mighty towers of Babel really are and to put our trust in the only One who can save.

When this affliction passes, as I believe it will, I pray to God that I will be forever changed by what I am seeing now. When Jacob wrestled with the Angel of the Lord, he did not give up the fight until he received his blessing. I pray now that we will stand firm and contend in these days, and that we will come out transformed.

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