Higher Than Me

I never used to realise just how radical and counter-cultural the Bible was in its treatment of women. God’s passion to set the captives free and to stand against injustice shines through the biblical passages about women both in the Old and New Testaments.

What a different place the world would be today if women were treated with the level of honour and dignity that God intended.

Living here in the Middle East, we are surrounded by regimes where women are routinely silenced, marginalised, assaulted and abused. These women are trapped in their suffering within the male-dominated societies where they live, knowing that if they try to protest or raise their voices, they will be ostracised and punished.

Israel is the only democracy in the Middle East. The rights of women are written into its law. The fourth Prime Minister of the modern state of Israel was a woman.

Yet, even here in Israel, it breaks my heart to see how women are increasingly marginalised and oppressed.

Women in Arab communities

The shocking rise of violent crime among the Arab communities in Israel often hits the headlines. A lack of investment and effective policing in this sector has left many Arab towns totally lawless and unprotected, controlled by mafia-like gangs. The specific plight of women within these communities is rarely reported in the media, but, as in any other violent and lawless society, it’s always the women and children who suffer the most.

I remember the harrowing story of a Bedouin Arab woman in Israel who I got to know a few years back. As a teenager, she was raped by her own brother. Her sexual “impurity” ruined her marriage prospects and meant that the only option she had was to marry a much older man with a history of physical and sexual violence. This woman suffered mercilessly at the hands of her husband for many years, but she didn’t complain because she had nowhere else to go. However, when she discovered that he had also been sexually abusing her 15-year-old daughter for several years, she decided that enough was enough.

In an act of incredible courage, she filed a complaint with the police. Her whole community turned against her. Even the other women – who were suffering similar abuse themselves – shunned her for breaking the silence. She moved to another city and set about the gruelling task of supporting her four children alone with no family or community around her. Her husband was never prosecuted, and she lived in fear that he or his family would find her and kill her.

I’m not saying that this woman is representative of all Arab Israeli women. Nor that the men in her life represent all Arab Israeli men. But for me, this story was a wake-up call to the violence and fear that is an ordinary part of life for at least some women in Arab communities in Israel.

Women in Orthodox and ultra-Orthodox communities

The mistreatment of women does not only happen in the Arab communities in Israel or in the oppressive Islamic regimes on our borders.

Women in Orthodox and ultra-Orthodox Jewish communities in Israel are also finding themselves increasingly marginalised and oppressed.

Ironically, the rise to power of right-wing ultra-Orthodox political parties in recent times has directly led to the suffering of many women in the very communities that these parties are meant to represent.

Religious male politicians are aggressively pursuing a bill to legalise the segregation of men and women in public places used by the Orthodox and ultra-Orthodox communities. Even now, before the bill has become law, religious women are finding themselves turned away from community venues and public transport or forced to sit in segregated areas at the back of buses.

Orthodox women who want to enter the political debate and have a say in the direction of their own community are denied access because the religious parties do not allow women into their ranks.

However, it’s not just the Orthodox and ultra-Orthodox populations that would be affected by the proposed gender segregation bill. Amongst other things, the religious lawmakers are calling for separate swimming and bathing times in Israel’s national parks and nature reserves. This would have implications for all Israelis.

Some may say that it’s no big deal to create time slots where men and women can swim separately in public places. But the truth is that most dangerous ideological movements start with the curbing of small freedoms before they encroach into more serious domains. As feminist groups within the Orthodox community are saying, whenever gender segregation is enforced, it is never equal. Men are given the best times and places, while women are relegated to the back of the bus.

Israel’s divorce laws and the thousands of “chained women”

Most non-Jewish people outside Israel don’t know anything about the terrible injustice of the agunot, or quite literally, the “chained women.”

In Israel, there is no such thing as secular marriage. All marriages are carried out by approved religious authorities. For Jewish people, this means that the only way to marry – unless they want to leave the country and get married abroad – is to have an Orthodox wedding. This also means that the only way to divorce is through the religious courts.

The problem is that rabbinical divorce laws are heavily weighted in favour of men. It is the man who decides if and when the marriage is over, and he then gives his wife a formal bill of divorce called a “get.” If a woman wants a divorce, she must persuade her husband to give her a get, and sometimes he doesn’t agree.

In Israel, there are thousands of women “chained” in marriage to men who refuse to release them. These marriages are often characterised by abuse, neglect, manipulation, and a high level of emotional control. Sometimes men even flee the country, leaving their wives unable to move on, maybe even carrying debts that their husbands accrued.

Religious courts often encourage women to make costly concessions to their husbands in return for a get. This can mean a financial or property settlement that is disadvantageous to the woman, or even giving up child custody. Women can be forced to pay a very high price for their freedom.

The Gospel message sets women free

After seeing the terrible abuses that occur when male-dominated societies use religion to subjugate women, I am in awe of the liberating message of the Gospel.

The Bible quite simply sets women free.

When we read the pages of scripture with a Western mindset and don’t look at the context, we can easily miss how radical the biblical view of women is. Without knowing anything about the concept of “chained women,” which was an issue even in ancient times, it seems strange reading passages commanding husbands to give their wives a certificate of divorce (Deuteronomy 24:1). Without knowing the religious hypocrisy of first century Jewish men who cast aside their wives for reasons as petty as burning the dinner, we can misinterpret the anger in Jesus’ voice when he rebuked the pharisees for quibbling over “acceptable” excuses for getting rid of their wives (Matthew 19:1-12).

God has always cared passionately about the powerless and the oppressed. Ancient Israel fell not because of its lack of religious observances but because of its lack of justice.

God cares about women and sees their pain. This is clear right the way through the Bible, from the time He had compassion on Hagar in the wilderness (Genesis 21:17-21) to the time He spared Rahab when the Israelites captured Jericho (Joshua 2, Joshua 6:22-25) to the time Jesus saved the life of the woman caught in adultery (John 8:1-11).

God rewards women for being strong and listening to His voice even if it means disobeying the men around them if the men are making unrighteous demands. When Abigail directly went against her husband’s wishes by giving David provisions, God did not rebuke her for a lack of submission. Instead, He punished her husband for his hardness of heart (1 Samuel 25).

In the days of the Judges, it was a female leader – Deborah – who led Barak – the commander of the Israelite army – into battle and gave him the courage to march his troops to victory. It was another quick-thinking woman, Yael, who enticed the Canaanite commander into her tent and sealed his fate with a tent peg.

In both the Old and New Testaments, women were given a voice and key roles in the events that played out. The risen Lord appeared first to women at the empty tomb and entrusted them with the task of telling the men. Priscilla, Lydia, Phoebe, Dorcas and Junia all served as female leaders in the early church.

Teaching on female submission can be dangerous

Today, in some Christian communities, it has become popular to idealise the notion of female submission. Christians often talk about days gone by when the world was a simpler place, when marriages lasted for life, when traditional values were upheld, and men and women knew their rightful places.

It’s easy to see the allure of this idyllic picture, especially in light of all the chaos and societal breakdown that we see around us today.

But the truth is that the golden olden days were not necessarily better times for women. Women were just as vulnerable to abuse within marriage then as they are now. The difference was that marital suffering was more hushed up then and divorce simply wasn’t an option.

When families and communities function well and their members flourish – both today and in days gone by – it’s about far more than just men and women knowing their gender roles. It’s about people loving and respecting one another. It’s about listening well to each other and being quick to forgive. It’s about persevering when the going gets tough. It’s about mutual submission and sacrifice.

It breaks my heart to see the collapse of the family in our modern world and the rampant individualism that is wreaking havoc on relationships. I am particularly grieved by the devastating effect that all of this has on our children. But I don’t believe that female submission in marriage is the key that will unlock God’s blessings and miraculously restore order out of the chaos.

In fact, I believe that focusing on female submission without addressing all the other complex issues leading to the breakdown of family and community in our modern world actually paves the way for greater abuse.

When husbands love their wives as Christ loves the Church and when they nourish and cherish their wives as they do their very own bodies (Ephesians 5:25-30), then their wives’ submission is a natural and God-ordained response. Godly marriage is an awe-inspiring picture of Christ’s relationship with the Church.

But when husbands are not submitted to God, when they make unrighteous demands of their wives or behave abusively, women have the right to say no. Biblical submission does not require women to lay their boundaries down and become living sacrifices for their husbands.

Some churches teach that the safest place for women is where there are strong men to protect them. I disagree. I believe that the safest place for women is where both men and women are encouraged to be strong, and men are secure enough to listen to women’s voices.

Jesus came to set the captives free. I believe that believing communities in Israel and across the world are called to have courage and lift up the banner of freedom. I believe that as we all cast off the chains that bind us and step into our God-given callings, we will see a mighty release of God’s power and purposes.

“This is the victory that has overcome the world – our faith” – 1 John 5:4